lifeincollegeover50:

It’s Like:

Source: weknowgifs

Ugh. It’s killing me. Feeling right now my life is one huge mess.. Not just because you’ve left me here, on my own, but because no-one else cares. Too busy living their own lives, being selfish.. Just like you. Even though you have hurt me so many times, with your lies, and your spiteful twisted words, and just being your usual selfish self - I want you. And it makes me hurt more.

Why do I crave someone who only hurts me? Ok, that’s not strictly true, there have been plenty of times where we have laughed, and you have made me so happy, and I have felt safe and loved.. And look at me now. I am drowning, floundering about whilst you live your perfect life.

What really kills me, is you know how bad things are for me. You know how bad things have been. Despite this, despite seeing my raw, undisguised pain, you have mocked me, and twisted how I feel and what I have said to make it my fault, that this was all my doing. You have robbed me of any power, of self-worth at times, to restore it, and make it seem like I alone am on a pedestal of your making, and you are crowing my glory - our glory - to the world. That I am all you want, a thing of perfection and beauty and strength in your eyes. But you have ripped that away from me. 

All because you are a silly, selfish boy. I could accept you have fallen out of love with me, but it’s not that. You told me so. You fucking told Twitter so. I ache to feel your touch, to see the need for me, and only me, in your eyes. And he has come back into your life. That damned, pathetic, parasitic creature. I warned you what would happen. And I was proved right.. When I so wanted to be wrong. 

I am so lonely. The one person I had, I have lost. The one person I trusted, who I thought I knew, is gone. And there is nothing I can do. You unfeeling, careless, tactless WORM. 

But I want you. I do not want to want you. I want you to be gone from my life, and take your cruel menagerie of cronies with you. Scour all memory from my head. But my body screams for you. I crave you. I WANT YOU. 

And so here I sit, on my own, tears clouding my vision again. 

I just want to be wanted.